Simple Sagacity

Simple Sagacity #75

2011-02-22T09:47:00.000-05:00

If you tell the truth, you do not have to have a good memory.

Simple Sagacity #74

2011-02-21T22:13:00.001-05:00

Dogs are great in multiples, but with kids, you should stop with one!

Simple Sagacity #73

2011-02-17T16:12:00.001-05:00

You can rehabilitate a lot of things, stupid is not one of them.

Simple Sagacity #72

2010-06-30T22:29:00.004-04:00

Port side has four letters and so does the word left. When facing forward on a watergoing vessel Starboard is the right side, and Port is the left.

The Bow is the front (if you bowed to the King or Queen, you would go to the front of the room). The Stern is the back, or aft, of the ship.

Stay between the red and green buoys and keep to the right of the channel.
Facing upstream, keep red buoy on your right and the green buoy on your left.
Downstream, greeon on right, red on left.

Green markers are kept to the Right when leaving a harbor and red markers are kept to the Right when returning to harbor, remember, "Red, Right, Returning".

Simple Sagacity #71

2010-06-30T22:24:00.001-04:00

No matter what you might think ahead of time, an eight foot camper shell will never look good on a six foot pickup bed.

Simple Sagacity #70

2010-06-14T22:18:00.001-04:00

If you climb on a wet roof after drinking 12 beers while wearing flip flops to clean out your gutters, you will wind up with multiple fractures in both legs.

simple sagacity #69

2010-06-11T14:19:00.000-04:00

"Everybody is a genius. But, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." ~ Albert Einstein

simple sagacity #68

2010-06-10T10:15:00.001-04:00

Asphalt is the quickest tattoo remover

Simple Sagacity #67

2010-06-09T18:54:00.001-04:00

Blessed are those who expect nothing; for they shall not be disappointed.

Simple Sagacity #66

2010-06-01T21:51:00.002-04:00

Talking to yourself is alright, answering yourself is borderline, but when you say something to yourself and then say "Huh?" then it's short bus time.

Simple Sagacity #65

2010-05-12T17:39:00.001-04:00

To be honest and upfront about something shows integrity, maturity, respect and honor. To be anything other is to be someone not worth knowing

Simple Sagacity #64

2010-04-30T14:07:00.001-04:00

Keep your friends close, so you can use them as a shield when necessary.

Simple Sagacity #63

2010-04-30T13:50:00.000-04:00

"The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary." - Dave Kellett

Simple Sagacity #62

2010-04-24T11:40:00.000-04:00

"It is illegal to stab people in the eye with a pen and or pencil for being a complete and total idiot" - Jennifer Young

Simple Sagacity #61

2010-04-21T20:00:00.001-04:00

“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Simple Sagacity #60

2010-04-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

"Deer hunting is better with a gun than your car." - David Slick-Seamonkey Semones

Simple Sagacity #59

2010-04-21T05:56:00.001-04:00

"Debt is an evil plot to keep you poor." - Seth Godin

Simple Sagacity #58

2010-04-21T05:53:00.000-04:00

"Dating tip: if ur dating our of ur generation don't go to Trivia night. The answers are so generational!" - Jennifer Jo Cobb

Simple Sagacity #57

2010-04-21T05:52:00.002-04:00

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn." ~Author Unknown

Simple Sagacity #56

2010-03-13T19:39:00.003-05:00

The more you try to impress, the more likely you are to end up being a dork.

Simple Sagacity #55

2010-02-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

All the gear all the time, because Kevlar is cheaper than plastic surgery.

Simple Sagacity #54

2010-02-18T18:21:00.001-05:00

"Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad" - Anne Geddes

Simple Sagacity #53

2010-02-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity. - author unknown

Simple Sagacity #52

2010-02-10T17:50:00.001-05:00

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." - unknown

Simple Sagacity #51

2010-02-10T17:49:00.001-05:00

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver." - Barbara De Angelis

Simple Sagacity #50

2010-02-06T17:25:00.002-05:00

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it." David Henry Thoreau

Simple Sagacity #49

2010-02-05T20:22:00.000-05:00

If you are sitting in an office whining that it is 64F, consider folks that have outside jobs and be grateful.

Simple Sagacity #48

2010-02-03T21:43:00.003-05:00

After a nuclear holicaust, there will surely be two forms of food

1) a canned meat byproduct with no expiration date
2) a sweet orange flavored powered drink mix made popular by the space program

If this is what one would have to look forward to, why would anyone want to survive?

Simple Sagacity #47

2010-02-03T21:39:00.001-05:00

When everything seems to be going perfect in life, get plenty of sleep. These days are short run, and you will need your rest for what's around the next turn.

Simple Sagacity #46

2010-02-03T21:35:00.001-05:00

theres a fine line between funny and just plain dumb. Dress a wrestler up as a fairy and make a 2hr movie with him prancing around - just dumb.

Simple Sagacity #45

2010-02-03T21:34:00.001-05:00

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything they have." - author unknown

Simple Sagacity #44

2010-01-14T20:45:00.002-05:00

A Car battery will die on the coldest day of the year.

Simple Sagacity #43

2010-01-14T20:44:00.002-05:00

A man with a pickup truck will be the first to know when any of his friends are moving

Simple Sagacity #42

2010-01-14T20:42:00.001-05:00

A person that purchases a boat or a swimming pool will acquire a lot of friends soon after the purchase.

Simple Sagacity #41

2010-01-14T20:40:00.001-05:00

Pliers and screwdrivers typically have a Zero Germination. If you plant them, they typically won't be coming up in spring.

Simple Sagacity #40

2010-01-14T20:37:00.002-05:00

Abbreviation is a decently long word to describe a shortened form of a word.

Simple Sagacity #39

2010-01-14T20:34:00.003-05:00

The old timers say, "let a sleeping dog lie." That is a good idea. Unless the dog is asleep in your lap and your leg is going to numb or you need to go to the bathroom.

Every rule has its exceptions.

Simple Sagacity #38

2010-01-14T20:27:00.002-05:00

Earning interest is far better than paying interest every time. If you have to incur a debt (take a loan), you should NEVER take a loan on something that depreciates (loses value).

Simple Sagacity #37

2010-01-14T20:26:00.002-05:00

I don't know what they call Sour Cream when it goes bad, but I am pretty sure you should not eat it.

Simple Sagacity #36

2010-01-14T20:24:00.002-05:00

When investing in the stock market, playing the lottery, or betting at Vegas, a simple rule applies: Never bet more than you can afford to lose.

Simple Sagacity #35

2010-01-09T18:34:00.001-05:00

If ever facing a quandry over who is trustworthy, you can probably go ahead and eliminate the used mobilehome salesman.

Simple Sagacity #34

2010-01-05T18:00:00.002-05:00

Some of the biggest lies in history have started with "I promise you" and end with "you can take that to the bank".

Simple Sagacity #33

2010-01-05T17:58:00.001-05:00

A cat will quickly climb a 16 foot step ladder, but will sit at the top for a long time trying to figure how to come back down.

Simple Sagacity #32

2010-01-05T17:56:00.001-05:00

Bobbing for french fries never works out good. Be patient and wait till they are pulled out of the grease.

Simple Sagacity #31

2010-01-04T18:05:00.002-05:00

The fuzzy hat will get you called a pimp everytime.

Simple Sagacity #30

2010-01-04T18:01:00.001-05:00

There is no need to water shrubbery when temperatures are below freezing, unless you are trying to ice down the sidewalk and street to see if you can cause a wreck or pedestrian injuries.

Simple Sagacity #29

2010-01-04T18:00:00.002-05:00

Silly string and most any areosol is flammable. If you spray silly string around birthday candles, chances are someone is going to have their hair on fire.

Same goes for WD-40.

Simple Sagacity #28

2010-01-04T17:57:00.003-05:00

It is never a good idea to lick a pole in freezing weather. Just don't do it.

Same goes for urinating on an electric fence.

Simple Sagacity #27

2010-01-04T17:55:00.000-05:00

"Giving yourself the permission to have bad ideas is often the start of being able to have great ideas." - unknown

Simple Sagacity #26

2010-01-04T17:52:00.001-05:00

"Confusion is always the most honest response." - Marty Indik

Simple Sagacity #25

2010-01-02T11:38:00.001-05:00

"When the illusion of control disappears we become men and women of prayer." - author unknown

Simple Sagacity #24

2010-01-01T15:20:00.002-05:00

Class is Forever.

Simple Sagacity #23

2009-12-30T19:19:00.002-05:00

There is a reason that the sign says do not fuel a vehicle with the engine running. Do not try to figure out why. Do not try to be a rebel and buck the system. Just accept it and comply. You will live a long and happy life if you do.

Simple Sagacity #22

2009-12-25T14:59:00.002-05:00

Honesty is the best policy, unless your wife ask you if this dress makes her butt look big. You should not say it is not the dress that does it.

Simple Sagacity #21

2009-12-25T14:57:00.001-05:00

If you get stopped by the police, it is not a good time to ask directions to Krispy Kreme or Dunkin Donuts. Even though you know they know the shortest route.

Simple Sagacity #20

2009-12-25T14:56:00.001-05:00

When attempting to board a train or an elevator, if you will stand to one side and wait for folks to get off, you will have a place to get on.

Simple Sagacity #19

2009-12-25T14:55:00.000-05:00

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” - Elizabeth Tabor

Simple Sagacity #18

2009-12-24T12:53:00.000-05:00

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones that don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance grab it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it." - author unknown

Simple Sagacity #17

2009-12-23T22:43:00.001-05:00

Bros before Flamingos

Simple Sagacity #16

2009-12-20T23:42:00.000-05:00

It is far better to be wanted than needed.

Simple Sagacity #15

2009-12-20T23:41:00.001-05:00

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, tomorrow is the second day of the rest of your life.

Simple Sagacity #14

2009-12-18T19:55:00.001-05:00

close only counts in hand grenades

and nuclear war

and dancing

Simple Sagacity #13

2009-12-18T19:54:00.001-05:00

It is better to burn out than it is to rust

Simple Sagacity #12

2009-12-14T19:53:00.001-05:00

if you are driving in fog without lights on, other drivers can't see you

Simple Sagacity #11

2009-12-14T19:50:00.000-05:00

"Always remember to move your headset before trying to shove food in your mouth. You dont want to eat your headset" - David Rowe

Simple Sagacity #10

2009-12-08T17:41:00.001-05:00

If the Police, EMS, and or Fire Department have been called to your house more than once at 2AM, you should go to bed earlier.

Simple Sagacity #9

2009-12-03T05:55:00.001-05:00

Always be VERY sure a woman is pregnant before asking when her baby is due. An extended abdomen does not necessarily indicate pregnancy.

Simple Sagacity #8

2009-11-30T23:15:00.001-05:00

Always stay upwind of a fire, a pig parlor, and paper mills

Simple Sagacity #7

2009-11-30T23:12:00.001-05:00

Never start a long drive in an MG without the phone number for a tow truck or an extensive tool box

Simple Sagacity #6

2009-11-30T23:11:00.001-05:00

Function will trump Fashion in the long run

Simple Sagacity #5

2009-11-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

Never underestimate the strength and ability of your opponent

Simple Sagacity #4

2009-11-30T21:46:00.002-05:00

The two fundamental rules of plumbing:

1) Hot goes on the left

2) Crap doesn't flow uphill

Simple Sagacity #3

2009-11-29T20:20:00.001-05:00

The bigger truck ALWAYS has right of way

Simple Sagacity #2

2009-11-29T20:10:00.005-05:00

Finding a penny is good luck, heads up or heads down. You should check to see if a big truck is coming before picking it up though.

Simple Sagacity #1

2009-11-29T20:08:00.002-05:00

never buy apple juice from a homeless guy without asking, ''is this used or new?''